Don’t you hate those random times when inspiration strikes? Those times that you should probably be doing work, or studying, or working on finals (whatever the case may be) but you simply can’t focus on anything other than the immediate need to put words to paper.
There’s so many things that I’m unsure of in life. A lot of things that I’m not certain will go the way I’ve planned them. Hell, the past few months have forced me to question myself in every way. They’ve forced me to come to the realization of just what I’m capable of and how far I would go for something I believe in. The optimist in me would like to remind me that there’s a positive in all the negative…that’s also the personna I would qualify as “overly romantic” and maybe even irrational. The rational thinker in me remembers that sometimes things in life just suck and no amount of romanticizing will make a shitty situation better. It also helps to have those wonderful individuals who keep you in check lest you fly away and sit on Cloud 9 all day.
But what happens when what you belive…what you utterly believe with every part of your heart and soul is put into question? By life itself sometimes. The simple answer is that if you can’t stick to your convictions than you never truly felt as strongly as you claimed in the first place. It’s easy to say that you’re supposed to stand and look uncertainty in the face, unafraid. Unfortunately the lessons that life teaches us are always in retrospect. We can never learn ahead of ourselves.
Maybe someday I’ll learn to look back on this particular moment in time; this unique moment that is filled with so many different clashing emotions as a good lesson learned. Until then, I’ve got to keep on smiling and remindind myself that the positives all around me far outweigh the negatives. Life is beautiful, in all its trivialities and intricacies. What I believe is real. The way I feel is not some idiotic romanticizing. The things that I’m capable of are far beyong what I ever dreamed. And every choice I make from here on out will be with the knowledge that life doesn’t sit around waiting for people to make up their minds about possibilities and uncertainties. We live in a world of motion…so it’s time to move.